I wake up and the sun no longer feels like fire at least not the way it used to back when birds chirping reminded me of hate apathy and discontent back when the sun in my irises meant a new day of contemplating my never-ending inadequacy Though now I wake up and have to choose… Continue reading Reflections.
Shame.
I almost don't want to write anything. How many journals do I have with the same inscriptions - the same well-intentioned, poorly executed commitments. As if writing "I'm going to change" 3, 798 times (a rough estimate) will make it a reality. Part of me feels that it is absolutely useless to outline my hopes… Continue reading Shame.
For Aslan.
Two posts in one week. Maybe I can keep this thing up... Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt myself wrapped in the familiar embrace of depression. Not only depression but despair. Along with the despair, my severe sense of lack and jealousy, also ravaged my thoughts. I couldn't snap out of it.… Continue reading For Aslan.
Stuck.
Hi guys. Looks like it's time for the annual post. You know, when I first decided to blog, I had the intention to write more frequently. I have intention behind a lot of things. Motivation, however, I lack. I know that I could do something with these thoughts that float around in my head. I… Continue reading Stuck.
Dormant.
“It's strange indeed how memories can lie dormant in a man's mind for so many years. Yet those memories can be awakened and brought forth fresh and new, just by something you've seen, or something you've heard, or the sight of an old familiar face.” ― Wilson Rawls, Where the Red Fern Grows The above… Continue reading Dormant.
Control.
I wish to grow in my faith I wish to slough off this exoskeleton of my fallen nature and allow my raw self to be bruised with the pain of life and struggle, knowing that my God will give me that which I need when I open myself up to receive it. I don’t want… Continue reading Control.
Foreigner.
I'm constantly stuck between two things, two places. And in each place I never feel at home. I still never fully belong. I feel lonely. It's more than just missing engagement announcements or births or graduations due to my previous withdrawal from social media...It's more like the loneliness of feeling the way that I feel… Continue reading Foreigner.
Why.
Tonight as I procrastinate my bed time yet again, I'm contemplating the things that I wish could be normal every-day conversation. Things that are wholesome and good...discussions on colors and favorite things, the joys of life and the certainty of death, existence...It seems like we all talk in pre-written scripts and I hate that. It… Continue reading Why.
Yet It Still Shines 